Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize