these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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