So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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