I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
