# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
