I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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