I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
