He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
