An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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