Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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