the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
