I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
