I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
well you can't waste a boner
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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