theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
