sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
