Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
