I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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