Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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