By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
