Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
