dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
