Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
