I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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