so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
