she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
