I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
