Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
