Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
