I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
