I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
