I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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