so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
cat food counts as protein by the way
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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