The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
