so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I supernannyed him into submission
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
