My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
