My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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