she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
