Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
