I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
