Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Holy shit dude........stairs
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