didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
