Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
