I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
