You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
