He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
