you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
