if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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