Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
