I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
