somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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