Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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