Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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