I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
